Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the day after is always just damage control
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
