well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
