Christians are straight up FREAKS
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
no you cant smoke seaweed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
