dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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