Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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