Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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