how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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