just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We have started to decorate penises.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize