dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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