Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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