So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
