never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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