Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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