he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
