You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
