is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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