This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
