We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
bring money and cleavage
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
