I'm going to jail i love you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
