She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
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I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.