I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
