As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
