I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
