Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
