We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
