Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
