Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize