If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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