i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
