would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
