I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
