Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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