I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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