4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize