youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
