Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
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