I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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