between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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