Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
