Got a toothbrush?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
