so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i came on her dog
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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