I met the friendliest cop last night
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
