Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize