Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
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No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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