i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
