he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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