You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
one might say we're banned from that church
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
