Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
