I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
