I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize