Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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