Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
