sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
