Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
