I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize