I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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