you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize