big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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