when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
