Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
